The power of Bitter Kola is underrated. Eat 5 a week and your Mr Soji will never be the same again.

Well, if something did not happen to me I would not have known the power hidden in Bitter Kola.

Believe me, it was a terrible experience, I was all ready for a football match on my Stamford bridge bed with this beautiful lady only for my Mr Soji to decide to go on relegation without my consent. The lady did all she could to resurrect my dear Mr Soju but all to no avail. 

Off course,  what do you expect, she was so pissed off but kept her cool and whispered in my ears, “go see a doctor you have a problem” I felt so cold like I am in Iceland even starring at her mama glands could not help dissolve the ice.

While pondering about my predicament several thoughts run through my mind because all Google has to tell me was I have Erectile Dysfunction and as a child of God that I am, I rebuked it in MFM prayer style sending fire and thunder to all the witches and wizards in my village without exempting Satan. You are laughing. Hmm… you don’t want to be in that situation. 

So the next day I began to research what could have been the problem then I realized I am the king of soft drinks. I recall, I just graduated from the 35cl bottle to the 1-litre style.

I felt so ashamed, I decided to call a friend of mine who is a Christiano Ronaldo when it comes to womanizing and narrated my ordeal to him and he exposed me to the power of Bitter Kola.

He advised I eat at least 10 Bitter Kola in 3 days. I know how Bitter it is so I decided to eat 2 Bitter Kola per day and so I began my Bitter Kola marathon race.

However, three days after, the Bitter Kola is no longer bitter but I continue the journey regardless and resigned from taking soft drinks.

Fast forward, after eating 2 Bitter Kola per day for one week I discovered one morning that my Mr Soji woke up before I do. My Mr Soji was so strong that he could divide the wall of Jericho with his head for hours without drinking water.

I look at it again and again as it keeps bragging and stretching showing veins like a man in a fight to finish wrestling. 

Then I told myself,  I guess it is time to lunch out, welcome myself back to UEFA Champions league with the madam that I offended above. 

To cut the long story short, I challenged my madam to a fight, hired a referee, rearranged my Stamford bridge bed and borrowed some tactics from Mourinho.

Believe me, it was a matter of ‘E lemi lo ma last’ my Mr Soji was so in a form that he kept shooting shots from all angles of the field non-stop my madam couldn’t believe it. I broke the net won the trophy and became the champion. 

Now I am not afraid of Chelsea, Barcelona or Arsenal, etc because now I know the secret of the game. 

Now my formation is at least 2 Bitter Kola per week and permanent retirement from soft drinks and I exercise regularly.